One of the most valuable skills you can learn as a Network Marketer and MLM Distributor is the ability to listen effectively and understand what is being meant, not just what is being said.

More than anything else, I know, the mere act of listening will draw people to you like a magnet. Remove your ego and the necessity to randomly talk about you and your solutions in your conversations, and you will achieve more than you can ever imagine.

Do we listen to people? Based on my experience, we dont. And we appear to listen least to those we are closest to, and understand them the least as well! And here is the other side of this coin. They don't listen to us either! That might explain many of the difficulties you encounter both in your personal life and as you go about building your Network Marketing and MLM business.

This is how we normally listen. For 45% of the time we are supposed to be listening, we are working out what we're going to say next. Another 45% of the time is spent waiting for a gap in the conversation so we can say it. That leaves only 10% of the time listening.

So, are we listening when we spend only 10 % of the time doing it? No! We cant be. So, how much of the time should we spend listening? 100%! (When I ask this question, most of the responses I get are from 60% to 95%. The reason being, of course, is that people think they need to reserve some space to think about what they will say or ask next.)

Hearing and listening 100% requires you to do something that is alien for most Network Marketers and MLM Distributors, because they are never taught it. It requires you to let go of your need to clutter your mind with needless thoughts of working out what to say next, and to let the inner self take over. It requires you to listen and tap into to the essence of the other person. It requires you to listen to the other 90% that you normally miss, because thats where the real information is and how the relationship with the other person is cemented.

So how do you listen 100% of the time? Here are a few clues: First, you have the ability to think 10 times faster than anyone can talk. If you know something about your Network Marketing business opportunity or products, and you listen to what is behind the problems revealed to you, you will automatically connect what they want with the correct features of your solution. Later, you can use those features to solve the problems you have heard. It's like having the features of your Network Marketing business opportunity stored in lots of spring-loaded drawers in the back of your mind, like the compact disc drawer on your computer. The right drawers with the right features will automatically pop out to solve the specific problems you hear. If, you hear them!

Your Questions Come From The Answers

Another clue about being able to listen 100% is that what you're going to say next is in the answers you get to your previous questions! It's all there! It's just that you must listen to the answers. Most Network Marketers and MLM Distributors listen selectively listening for the things they want to hear if they listen at all. They listen with the intent to reply, not with the intent to understand the facts and feelings of where someone is coming from. Real listening requires letting go and concentrating on everything the other person says and doesnt say. If you think about it, it makes sense. People know the history of their life, and if you are to have any success in understanding whether you can help them, doesnt it make sense to enlist their help by asking about it first, then listening and finally speaking?

A third clue is to stop re-interpreting what people say to you, based on your own life's experiences, judgments, prejudices and thoughts. For example, have you ever had someone respond to a remark you made and his or her response had no bearing on what you were talking about or what you were meaning? How did you feel about that? Annoyed, unheard, invalidated, or some other feeling? What wasnt this person doing? They werent listening! Do you probably do the same thing to others? When promoting your Network Marketing and MLM business, misunderstandings of this sort are expensive expensive in terms of money and time and, more importantly, in terms of relationships.

A classic story illustrates how we think we know what someone means when in fact we dont. A lady was talking with a friend of hers, and she was relating how her husband had left her the week before and she hadnt heard from him since. She had no idea where he was. Her friend replied, "Oh! I'm sorry to hear that, it must be awful for you!" "On the contrary," was the response, "Ive been wondering how to get rid of him for ages!"

You see how our own thoughts can misinterpret someones words and what they are meaning. If, in the above case, the friend had got behind the statement and asked, How do you feel about that? or, Tell me what happened, she would have had a clearer understanding of her feelings about the matter and would not have stepped into the minefield of miscommunication.

Changing Your Listening Habits

One of the challenges about effective listening is that (1) we're not sure how to listen, (2) what to listen for, or (3) even know how to respond to what someone says. From an early stage in our lives, what are we taught the most to get on in life how to listen or how to express ourselves? Mostly, how to express ourselves!

The truth is, the real art of communication is in the listening! Listening is a gift you can give anyone and it doesnt cost you a penny. Not only that, what you get in return is infinite. Deepak Chopras book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, states that, The act of listening is one way to manifest the second law which is the Law of Giving. Interestingly, in my experience, this one action of listening will trigger all the other laws of success, turning them from a metaphysical reality into practical abundant reality.

So, take the time to review your listening skills. Next time you're speaking with someone, observe whether you're really listening or whether you're just waiting for the chance to have your say! Then make a deliberate effort to really listen and experience for yourself the difference it makes. You'll also notice the difference in the concrete results you get as you build your Network Marketing and MLM business.