How's your cash flow? I might just as well have asked a woman her age. Joe Dominguez, author of "Your Money or Your Life" says that the most embarrassing question is "How big is yours?" Your paycheck, that is.

I was once sitting in a coffee shop with my friend, Jade. She had just introduced me to Phil, a friend of hers who she was doing some business with. Phil and I got to talking and discovered that we had both experienced some similar childhood traumas. We got into a very personal discussion about our healing.

When we were finished, Phil looked at Jade and said, "Let's go somewhere more private to discuss our business." Their financial discussion was more personal to him than our very personal histories. Isn't that interesting?

Most of us barely know where our cash goes. We barely admit that our spending is mostly an emotional decision that we have rarely thought through carefully. Try keeping track of everything you spend for one week. If you're brave, do it for a month. Just keep a little notebook and write down each expense. You can keep your receipts and record them at the end of the day, but it's best to do it every day so you get all of them down.

When you're done, look at each expense. Let's say you spend $2.50 on coffee on your way to work. Now ask yourself a question about the emotions that moved you to spend that money. Were you looking for Safety? Control? Or Approval? If you were tired and needed coffee to stay awake, it could have been safety and maybe even control of your ability to stay awake. Lester Levinson created "The Sedona Method" about 40 years ago and taught his workshop participants to notice these motives in themselves.

I'm not saying to change any of your spending patterns. Just be aware of them. Self-awareness alone can make a big difference in your cash flow. Awareness helps us to change naturally. It takes a lot of courage to notice the emotional component of even our smallest spending decisions. Why don't you try it and see?