It's 4:15 A.M. and I've spent hours sitting before my computer, working on my website, reading, responding to messages in various chat groups, and generally delaying the act of sleep. I acknowledge that I am now exhausted. Part of the evidence is in the fact that I forgot to put the water into the coffeemaker for my last pot of stay awake. Since there's no hot caffeine barrier to wash away this foul nicotine taste, I might as well go to bed. This start of an ezine article, paragraph will be on the screen to greet me when I awaken. It's 6:17 A.M. and I'm, once again, wide awake. Well, sure enough, here is the self-imposed, writing project. Born in a delusionary fatigue, it was barely a live birth. Now, if I am to be the proud parent, I must nurture it and watch my scattered brainchild grow. OK, a quick trip to the Internet knowledge-base store. It's an open 24-hour place close by. I hope to find information on sleep disorders. Perhaps, Empty Bed Syndrome (ESB) is already classified or listed as something else? Nope! It doesn't appear to be unless it's hidden within those covert "See a doctor for depression or mental problems" suggestions. If I'm going to solve this sleep disorder, I'll have to find a solution myself then. First, I'd better honestly examine my relevant data. Age: 58
Sex: Male
Status: Single
Orientation: Straight
Number of children: 4 (16-yr-old-daughter moved in unannounced on New Years Day)
Relationship desired: Long term/Marriage
Self-examination: Well, I avoid going to bed. Ever since the lady of my last relationship move with me into a larger apartment, and she acquired her own bedroom, I haven't been able to sleep more than a couple or three hours at a time. I didn't even notice until she returned to live closer to her own children because she had an odd sleeping pattern which I'd adjusted to over the course of nearly three years. When I think about it, I realize that it's not so much being in a marriage or long-term relationship that I really want. It's having an affectionate female who wraps her admiring arms around me or invites my loving limbs to entwine hers. Solution: Find an affectionate female, to share my queen size bed, one who does not make excessive demands that take away time from pursuit of my Internet interests. Yet, she must be able to express affection when we are up and in close proximity too. Discussion: I hardly think that this ESB is unique to me. Too many people, both male and female, are on-line at the same weird hours that am I, for some of them not to suffer this same affliction. Likely, no one else has actually identified the Empty Bed Syndrome. Take the ENS (Empty Nest Syndrome), for example. We have all heard about it. Yet, having shared close relationships with loving mothers who, through no fault of their own, were separated from their first loves (their children), I know first hand how all-consuming the emotional impact of ENS on a good woman is. The personal loss of affection for their mate is but one aspect. BHS (Broken Heart Syndrome) was officially classified as a cause of death by the medical profession recently. While more men than women fall victims to this, and die earlier as a direct result, it is none-the-less a very real, recognized problem. I've even posted an article about it in the "Other Health Issues" section of my website. Probably, my selfishness has inoculated me and affords me protection from this one. So, it is not difficult for me to conclude that EBS (Empty Bed Syndrome) is also a condition that deserves a name, some additional recognition, and study. |
