After working through steps 1 through 6, you now should have sufficient information to contact the parent of the bully and discuss ways to help them stop bullying. I approach the parent not in a blaming manner but in a helping manner after all I am a school counselor not an administrator. I feel like my role is to be supportive to all students. I am very gentle in discussing with the parent that students as well as staff have reported their child for bullying. I offer our in-school counseling program at this point to the parent as a solution for curbing this behavior. I also ask them to address this issue with their child. If you dont have an in-school counseling program, I offer some names of counselors in the community to give the parents somewhere to go if they want to choose that option. Often parents of bullies are resistant or are bullies themselves. Approaching them with the attitude that you are calling to be helpful to their child and not to blame works the best. Sometimes they will say that their child is being bullied also. I take the name of the students bothering their child and assure them that I will talk to their child and these students that are bothering him/her the next day. They also may question their child being reported by other students who may not be telling the truth. That is why I dont call a parent unless I have some information from adults in the building that they have heard or seen this child bullying. I tell the parent all the information that has been reported to me except I do not give the names of the students who have reported the bullying. I do this to protect the students and also I dont feel it is ethical to discuss students with anyone other than their own parent or guardian. If they push the point of wanting to know the students name, I ask them if they would like me discussing their childs business with another parent, and try to get back to how to help their child stop bullying. Contacting the parent may be tricky, but if they become your ally, both of you can work to stop the bullying and then everyone wins. Paula McCoach invites you to subscribe to the Bully Zapper Newsletter published weekly with tons of tips on how to effectively deal with bullies in elementary and middle school. You will receive a free special report for your subscription. To subscribe, go to http://www.bullyzapper.com 2005 Permission granted to reprint this article in print or on your web site so long as the paragraph above is included and contact information is provided to the email coach@bullyzapper.com and http://www.bullyzapper.com |
