"When I was your age....."

If you don't believe this one is useless, just watch your teen's eyes the next time you say this one. You will see them glaze over as they go into the "I've got to sit through this again" trance.

They hear absolutely nothing you say after "when I was your age."

Step back a moment and consider what you are trying to teach them. In doing family therapy, I will often ask a parent, in front of the teen, "what were you like when you were 16?" The teen is usually listening intently and gets to see a side of the parent they may have never seen before.

ParentTip One - An alternative is to work this information into everyday conversation, without the dreaded "when I was your age."

ParentTip Two - If you must talk about how things were when you were their age, at least make it humorous or shocking. For example, how we actually had to get up to change the TV channel and cartoons were on only on Saturday mornings.

Here's what can often happen after reading an article like this one.

As a parent, you'll catch your self saying "when I was your age" again. That's natural. Sometimes it takes conscious attention to change. Simply stop your self, remember what your are trying to teach, and use one of the suggested alternatives.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com