I love it that I have been a cancer survivor for just over a year. I have gotten my life back, I am working again, my hair is grown in, and I can pretty much life my life the way I would like to. However, the joy of life can sometimes be shadowed by the fear of cancer recurrence.

I am an ovarian cancer survivor. My chances of recurrence is about 80%. Today I went back to the clinic for a blood draw so that my test results are back for my one year check-up. Just being back in the chemo room and getting my blood drawn brought back the memories like a floodgate. The nurses "oohed" and "ahhed" over my new hair, and offered hugs of celebration. It was a great feeling to be on the side of remission.

Yet, the threat of cancer recurrence will haunt my thoughts whenever I am reminded of those chemo days. How do I keep the fear from paralyzing me? Will I ever be able to handle a recurrence if it should happen? When will the cancer nightmare ever end? I may never be able to answer those questions, but I do know that I had life today. I will rejoice in the here and now. I will praise God for what each day, each opportunity, and each blessing that He bestows upon me. I need to give my life up to the Lord and truly put Him in the driver's seat of the vehicle of my life. He is the best driver I could ever want, and I'll just enjoy the ride.