To play the Sex Scandal Game, add up your points as you read, and score yourself at the end. Remember, the only safe sex scandal is one you have nothing to do with! Get your pen out and let's get started. No points for regular sex, in private, with another consenting adult. You can earn 5,000 bonus points for doing the CEO of your company and 10,000 points if you still have your job 3 months later. No regular points for doing it with a famous politician, but you do get 20,000 sympathy points since your face will be all over the Internet before the next election cycle is complete (remember, the more discreet you are, the more likely your partner is to brag). Subtract 500 points for having sex with the boss who controls your paycheck--what are you, crazy? No points for straight sex, with a coworker, in a semi-public place. Add 2,000 points if a crowd forms to listen or watch. Bonus of 5,000 points if the whole thing ends in a public brawl, but take 1,500 points off if someone gets pictures--nobody wants to see your naked butt hanging out there like that! No points for visiting a strip club while on a business trip. Add 1,000 bravery points for using the company credit card to pay for your lap dances, plus an additional one point per dollar spent over your former yearly salary. The current record is $250,000. No points for renting an apartment for your mistress. If you use company money, add 6,000 bravery points. If you have documentation from your boss telling you to rent an apartment to "entertain" clients, add 4,000 points (but you still lose your job if stock holders finds out). Subtract 10,000 loser points if you rented the apartment, called the hookers, setup the dates and never got any for yourself--whats wrong with you? No points for attending an orgy on your own time. Add 2,000 points for actually attending one sponsored by the public relations department at your company. Since someone always brings a camera to these things, you get an extra 9,500 points if you participate, but your picture never appears on the internet or Fox News. Well done. So, how did you do? 0-1,000 points means you are dull, but probably still employed. 1,001 to 15,000 says get a room, preferably in the same building where you work. 15,001 to 50,000, screams no fair! It's not nice when professionals toy with amateurs. Over 50,000 points? You need your own web site. Want more fun? Google sex scandal and try to figure out where these true life stories came from. |
