We strive for excellence in our lives, going at full throttle, but sometimes we are faced with a situation where all we do is "hurry up and wait". That's when we need to learn about coping. C is for Conscious. Conscious slowing down is required here, as we take stock of what is really happening in our life. It is not like tuning out, we are fully aware that we are in the moment and observing ourselves, as it were. Life has hit us with something sudden and usually it is somsthing, unpleasant or unwanted, such as divorce, death of a loved one or a job loss. O.Opt-in. Opt-in to the process in your time and at your own pace. Again this does not mean "zoning out", as the kids today say. It means that you will face the situation in your own personal style. Do you need to be alone to cry, meditate, do some journaling? Are your friends and family what you need? Say so! P.Participate. This is much like opting in, however, where the former one is more an attitude the latter is more hands on. Take part in your eventual re-emergence this issue or event. Again, at your pace. If you feel you are not ready to see a certain person or attend a function, make a courteous refusal. You can explain that you don't feel up to it, but would like to be asked again in the future. I.Involved. Your ongoing involvement is a big part of the coping process. There will be steps that you must go through that will taking you closer to coming out on the other side of the experience. It's more beneficial for you to take small,timely, forward moving steps than to make huge leaps and then have to retreat or re-start. N.Negotiate. Negotiate with yourself or your support circle for things you need help with. If there children depending on you at this time, there are things others can do for you, so you can have more strength and focus to provide the relative stabilty that the children will need. Can someone shop for groceries, so that you can pick up the kids from school? Maybe that's all you can manage for the day. Get help preparing meals, doing laundry, etc. Some of us find it very hard to ask for help, but using your energy wisely is a must, if you are to recover your "old" self. G.Gratitude. Gratitude is important for so many reasons. It shows acknowledgement and appreciation, with no regard for the magnitude or humbleness of the gift, it's enough that it was given. So thank everyone for their help during your challenging time. Don't be driven to try to "pay" them back! A sincere, heart-felt thanks with a well chosen card is enough. They"ll be happy just to have the old you back. Gratitude for the lesson to be learned in the crisis may take a long time. But that may eventually come. For now you've survived and your alive with possibilities...again! |
