Somehow our culture has adopted the notion that change has to take a long time and be very painful.

Doesn't sound very attractive or compelling, does it?

A few myths about change

There are some occasions when change can take a long time. Often, however, change begins just as soon as you decide you are going to change.

Another myth about change is that a therapist or coach can somehow make us change. That's just not true. What a good therapist or coach can do is give you an understanding of the process of change, and, more importantly, the tools to make the changes.

Change ultimately comes from the inside. I guess this is best summed up by the old joke:

"How many therapist does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he light bulb has got to really want to change."

If you are trying to change someone else, it just won't work. The only person who likes to be changed by someone else is a wet baby.

We can change ourselves and many times our circumstances.

It's like the serenity prayer tells us:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com