Valentine's Day is right around the corner. We now become focused on that special person in our life and how we will celebrate the day. Our thoughts go to chocolate, roses, and a romantic dinner. As Professional Life Coaches we often suggest that our clients ponder this question: How can you create a Valentine's Day attitude that will last throughout the year? Lauren, a client of ours, felt some frustration with the relationship with her husband. She said, "Our marriage is not as exciting as it was when we were first married. When I give my husband a suggestion on how we can improve our marriage, he doesn't want to hear it. He doesn't seem to listen to what I have to say. He doesn't like to go to the same places that I like to go. And he really knows how to make a mess in the kitchen. I would like things to be better." We suggested to Lauren that she try an experiment. For three full days, whenever she was tempted to be critical or suggest improvement, that she stop herself and tell her husband something that she admires about him. Lauren agreed to give it a try. What were the results? Lauren was totally amazed. She and her husband are now getting along so much better. They are spending more time talking with each other. They have begun going to more social and cultural events together. Her husband is now cleaning up his mess in the kitchen! What are the best ways to improve your relationship with the special person in your life? Here are three suggestions: 1. We all have a craving for appreciation. Whenever you notice your partner doing something nice for you, acknowledge it. Dont assume that he or she knows that you appreciate it. Give honest and sincere appreciation whenever you can. 2. Make a commitment to avoid the critical approach. How do you feel when someone criticizes you directly? Does it motivate you? Of course not. It often times has the opposite effect. If you must correct your mate, first begin with praise. There will be a better chance of your suggestion being accepted. 3. Become genuinely interested in your partner and really listen to what he or she is saying. It's one of the best ways to show your love. "Love is a game that two can play and both win." William James- |
